From the moment of conception, changes start to happen all around you and within you, getting you ready for the journey of becoming a parent. You’ll notice that there are a number of changes that happen between you and your partner in your relationship as you both transform to accommodate for this new little life. Expectations begin to vary, the way you view the world and your place in it completely alters, even the way you view your partner is at risk of scrutiny.
Often times, it’s not so much the new circumstances that make for a difficult time, but rather the way this set of new circumstances is handled by the two parties.
So here is a list of things that you and your partner can do to keep your relationship going through the trials of being a new parent, or a veteran parent with a new baby in the home.
- Remember that raising a child is a joint effort
Women: Making space for your partner to be an active part of your child’s rearing is sometimes hard to do. It’s easy to feel that your instinct is always right and, therefore, there is no room for your partner’s input. By allowing him to take up the responsibility in his own way, shows that you trust and respect him enough to do so. That’s a winning quality in any relationship.
Men: The active interest you take in nurturing your child is incredibly important to your partner. You don’t have to do it the way your partner does it. But taking an interest will show her that you care and it’s that care that keeps her close to you.
- Make time to talk to each other
Keep that communication bridge open. Dedicate time and set the boundaries in which the children do not cross over. Remember who came first in the relationship and remember who will stay long after the kids have left the nest. Nurturing the foundation of the relationship is also a good way of ensuring a stable upbringing for your children.
- Talking is not the only important thing
It’s true that priorities change after having a baby, but they should never change so much that it isolates or excludes your partner from receiving intimacy and experiencing the closeness that came before the baby. Keep the passion alive by continuing to appreciate the little things.
- Be willing to adapt
There will be sleepless nights, many dirty nappies, and new uncertainties that did not even make it to your top-50 list of worries before having a child. Try to adapt to these new experiences together.
- Ask, explore, and always listen
Be open to learning with your partner and from your partner. Having a baby is an exercise in growth for all involved.
- Respect each other. Always
Kids bring out the raw emotion in a person and tempers can flare. Respecting your partner and always ensuring that there is a level of dignity in the way you treat him or her, leaves the door for love, intimacy and trust, open. With that door open, the relationship will always be safe, but when it closes you may find yourself working extra hard at what should come naturally.